mailbag #35
mystical potatoes, how to control temper, and loneliness
Ullaakkut, This Cat.
Cat is back for more questions and answers. Let’s look at the maths. This is the 23rd day of 6th month of year 2026. This newsletter has 254 sentences and was written by 1 very hungry Cat. Please drop 3 crunchies in comments if you rate this newsletter 10 out of 10.
Ready? Let’s begin.
To Cat
From Pigon
Hello cat, I never thought I’d need to do it but now I need help. I just pushed myself away from half of my friends. What do I do? Thanks, crunchies to my feline friend 🍤 🍤 🍤
Hello Pigon. Cat commend you for writing to ask for help. Making amends to friends can feel very vulnerable. Here is Cat’s advices. It may feel hard to do, and it will require some courage, but if Pigon would like to rekindle friendships, way forward is to reach out openly and honestly.
Only Pigon knows the details of the whys and the hows of the pushing away, but Pigon (and anyone else who is facing similar dilemons, and wants to reach out to friends) can start by saying something like: “I was dealing with a lot of stuff and instead of reaching out, I pushed you away. I really value our friendship, I’ve missed you, and I want to reconnect.”
In most cases, Cat believes that friends will respond with kindnesses and understanding. In some cases, offerings of apologies may be appropriate. After reaching out, and if it feels right, follow up with suggestion for a light hang. Something like, “I’d love to sniff some catnip with you and catch up. Do you have time to meet up next Thursday?”
Believe it or not, Pigon, Cat suspects that most humans have pushed friends away at one time or another. This is why Cat thinks your friends will understand if you reach out with sincerity and courage. Doing hard things takes lot of courage, and most humans respect that. Cat can tell that Pigon already has courage, what happens next is up to you.
If Pigon feels like investigating further, figuring out why you pushed your friends away might be illuminating. Does Pigon journal? If so, write down these three questions in your journal, then write your answers.
✏️ Why did you push your friends away instead of reaching out for support?
✏️ How would you respond if one of your friends pushed you away?
✏️ If you could do over, what would you do differently, and why?
Please DM Cat if want unpack further, and please make sure to give yourself grace.
Love ya, mean it! <3 Cat
To Cat
From Horse #1936384639463847
Hi cat :P How can I deal with dumb neighbor, and smart like you? And how I deal with terrible leader of country? Many neighs and treats for u, horse.
Hello Horse. Cat not know what country horse lives in, but where Cat lives, Cat has terrible leader of country. One way that Cat deals with this is by refusing to give terrible leader huge amounts of Cat’s precious attentions. Terrible leaders crave attention, so Cat uses attention as a form of resistance. Instead of focusing attentions on how terrible this leader is, Cat gives precious attentions to humans and situations that terrible leader has made offenses towards. In some ways, Cat senses that this redirection of attentions may be one of terrible leader’s worst nightmares. Subverting intentions of terrible leaders gives Cat feeling of agency and participation. Terrible leaders will come and go, but right actions are forever.
As far as dumb neighbor, Cat thinks that best course of action is to try to get along. Never know. Might find something horse has in common with neighbor. Like desire to live peacefully without strife and conflicts, or the pleasure of scritches behind the neck and biting into crisp and juicy apples.
To Cat
From nyx
hi cat! I feel unproductive all the time and I’m always left feeling guilty when I take breaks. What should I do? many treats and crunchies for you, nyx
Hello nyx. Many humans feel guilt around productivity. First thing Cat suggests is to replace guilt with curiosity about these feelings. Some questions for nyx to contemplate: When does feel most guilty? What is nyx afraid will happen if nyx is not productive? Whose voice does nyx hear when nyx feels they should be doing more? Does nyx believe rest has to be earned?
These questions about guilt and productivity touch on very many big ideas: personal vs collective values, production vs experience, creation vs consumption, and the condition of living in a capitalist-centered world. As always, Cat believes that maintaining curiosity and investigating feelings is solid first step in understanding and approaching things we want to change.
Cat suspects that nyx’s guilt about being unproductive may not come from nyx’s own values, but from a world that says value depends on how productive nyx is. But this just Cat’s opinion. What does nyx think?
Nyx asks “what should I do?” Cat suggests doing nothing. More specifical, Cat suggests nyx practices being unproductive by doing things that have no measurable outcome. Like what? Well, Cat enjoys taking a daily wander: no goal, no destination, just wander. Cat also enjoys bird-watching, smelling flowers, and daydreaming. One thing all these activities have in common is that they are experiences that offer no tangible reward. These activities give reward in different ways: pleasure, wonder, enjoyment, exploration.
If all these curiosities and adventures in just-being stirs up desire in nyx to go further in these explorations, Cat suggest dipping a toe into the ways that humans are living and being outside of capitalism. Cat loves the community fridge in Cat’s neighborhood. Cat also loves supporting businesses that are worker-owned, or are unionized. Cat finds community gardens and food co-ops fun and crunchy places to get paws dirty.
In the end nyx, we are so much more than how hard we work and how much we achieve. We are the choices we make, the things we feel, and the big questions we ask and are willing to explore with joy and curiosity.
Many treats and crunchies to you too, nyx. Love, Cat.
To Cat
From MewMewFloofypants
Other cat, how do i send you crunchy treats? Do you have some dropoff address i can mail them to? do i just email you locations where i put crunchy treat?
Hello MewMewFloofypants, all of the above. And also, drop the 🍤 in the comments. Thank you, Cat.
To Cat
From Jade
How doos I becomez cat?? :3
Hello Jade. Do you like sleeping, eating, playing, and receiving affections? If answer is yes, might want to look in mirror to see if you are cat. If look in mirror and still see human, try a change in diet. Cat suggests tender morsels in gravy or loaf in sauce. Good luck!!
To Cat
From Delry
Hi Cat, Nice to meet you. I just saw you in my email and read your message to people. Anyway, I was dealing with people like I want to improve my communication skills, but I ended up feeling awkward and always messed up. Can you help me?
sending more treats for you, Delry.
Hello Delry. After Cat reads Delry’s question, Cat feels that Delry is fine communicator. But Cat understands the desire to improve communication skills. Cat is working on this too! Cat has come to believe that improvement can occur in any part of life with a little practice. Practice is useful because more we do things, more comfortable we become doing them (and being comfortable is opposites of being awkward.) Cat spends much time practicing communication with mirror-self. To do this, Cat makes private time in bathroom and practices speaking with mirror.
Another thing Cat does when Cat feels awkward feelings arise: Cat addresses it. This helps release pressure to be Very Good Communicator. For example, when Cat is having conversation with dustbunnies and Cat starts tripping on words and making big long silences, Cat simply says “I get nervous sometimes when I talk. Don’t mind me if I stumble on my words.” This makes everybody feel less awkward and makes Cat feel less stressy and nervous about messing up. Hope this helps, Delry.
To Cat
From Laylalalala
What do I do about trying to control my temper quickly? Sometimes I snap at the people I love. This makes everyone (including me) really sad. I don’t like to lash out at people, so what should I do?
Hello Laylalalala, Cat does not like to lash out at peoples, but Cat must admit, sometimes it happens. And that is okay. Having tempers is pretty normal and can actually be useful at times, but Cat understands not wanting lash out and snap at loved ones. Cat has learned little bit about how to work with tempers.
Cat suggest for Laylalalala to try Take Five method. When Laylalalala feels hot burning anger rising in throat, count to five. Count slowly. Lashing might be rising up in throat. Give lashing feeling deep breaths. Taking Five is one way to make a pause. Making pause can ease the pressure that causes snap. Making pause gives your brain some space to relax, reconsider, and respond in way that is calm and considerate.
Sometimes, instead of taking five, Cat will take a little trot to release the energies of tempers. Cat believes that angers and tempers are not BAD. They are just…energies, and energies need direction, flow, and release. Breath helps create direction. Pause helps create space for flow. Hope this helps.
To Cat
From MYSTERIOUS ONION
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT POTATOS?!
Hello MYSTERIOUS ONION, Cat is fascinated by potatos because potatos spend much of life underground, in the darkness of earth. This leads Cat to believe that potatos have knowledge of many secrets, many wisdoms. Once, Cat met potato that sat on kitchen counter for very many days. One day, this potato sprout tiny stems that Cat’s human called eyes! Cat is pretty sure potato have eyes because potato is mystic of vegetable kingdom.
To Cat
From Asda
wow this grammar is actually good. did Cat perhaps take english classes during break?
Hello Asda. Very observant, very, very observant. Maybe too observant 😼 Thank you for noticing. Matter of facts, Cat had desire to improve grammars and syntax so Cat spent break reading very many books, like Lynda Barry’s What It Is and Cat’s old friend Stephen’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft.
To Cat
From ultravioletray
How i stop the feeling of lonely? i is sad...it is overwhelming :(( btw LOVE YOUUU CAT<333
Hello ultravioletday. Cat agrees with you: sadnesses can be overwhelming. However. In Cat’s infestimations, cannot stop the feelings. Better to feel them. Might be ironical, but feeling the feelings, helps us to move through them. And when we move through them, they are less overwhelming and it is easier to let them go.
When the feelings are overwhelming, Cat suggest ultravioletray try to externalize them. This means giving the feelings an outlet instead of holding them in the heart and the mind. Creative expression is good way of externalizing feelings: things like singing, drawing, writing, painting, dancing, walking. Cat enjoys creative expression of shredding cardboard boxes.
When Cat is really stuck with the feelings? Cat writes feelings in notebook. Cat fills entire page with writings about feelings. Then, Cat tears out page of feelings, folds up into little square, places square inside mason jar, and places jar in freezer section of fridge. For Cat, putting big feelings on ice neutralizes them and gives Cat some relief.
One last thing. Feelings like lonely and sad is big normal. These feelings are just one of the things that make you a sensitive, tender human being. Love YOUUU too ultravioletray <333
To Cat
From Fried and Whiskered
Hi Cat, I’m super stressed out all the time and my therapist suggested meditation. Can you teach me how to meditate? I’ve tried to do it before but I can’t stop my mind from racing and sometimes its hard to sit still.
Hello Fried and Whiskered. Meditation helps relieve stress and anxiety, reduces depression, stimulates creative and intuitive vision, and prepares brain for better focus, and sleep. If do it regulars, may notice very many interesting changes and enhanced state of being.
Many different ways to meditate. First, must find kind you like best. Cat suggest starting with a stillness meditation. This how do.
Find quiet place where no one disturbs. Get comfy. Ready? Okay. Take big inhale and tense up muscles, from bottom of feet to top of head. Then big exhale and relax muscles, from bottom of feet to top of head. Repeat couple of times. This should help body to feel loose and relaxed. Now, observe breath. In, out. In, out. In, out. When inhale, think the word “still”. When exhale, think the word “ness.” Still-ness, still-ness, still-ness. Your mind will wander. You might think about what you will eat for dinner, or what happened last week. No big deal. If you notice you have a thought, gently return to observing in-out of breath, and return to thinking “still-ness” with your in and out breath. Can do anywhere. In the car. On the bus. In bed. All up to you. The more you do, the easier it gets.
If cannot sit still for long period of time, Cat suggests a walking meditation. This how do. Go for easy walk. Soft eyes. Easy breath. While walking, notice how body feels each time foot meets ground. Can match breath to steps if want. Inhale step, step step, exhale step step step.
It is effortless, yes?
Cat loves answering your questions. Did you enjoy reading answers? Leave questions for next mailbag in comments or here.
Thank you for playing, and reading.
Love, Cat 🐾
˚∧＿∧ + —̳͟͞͞🍤 ( •‿• )つ —̳͟͞͞ 🍤 —̳͟͞͞🍤 + (つ -- —̳͟͞͞🍤 ｜ _つ + —̳͟͞͞🍤 —̳͟͞🍤 ˚ `し´
🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤
Cat brilliant. Many love. No judge. Like Buddha. Me Gratitude You.