hearts and crunchies

Cat answers reader's questions about love.

Jambo. This Cat.

February is when Cat makes deep slumbers. While airs are cool and nights are long, Cat spends cozy time with dustbunnies near the heater, trading stories and learnings. In Cat’s opinion, February is perfect time for big naps, long talks, and deep dreamings.

But this month, very many of Cat’s readers leave comments and questions asking for advices about love and what do about Valentine’s Day. Cat decide to make some investigations.

First, Cat watched several YouTubes to learn about Valentine’s Day. Cat’s learnings? This day is about love and candy hearts. Well, Cat is not biggest fan of candy—Cat prefers crunchies—but Cat does understand the deeper meaning of candy hearts…

Hearts hold love.

Cat asked dustbunnies to tell Cat more about Valentine’s, since dustbunnies are keepers of very many wisdoms. Bunnies tell Cat the word valentine come from old Latin word valentia, which mean courage, strength, and power. Please contemplate.

Now Cat will answer reader’s questions about love.

To Cat
from Panda_BearCub

Hi Cat!! Panda wants to know how to tell if they've found their forever partner or not 🩷🐼 Also is it possible for a panda and a sloth to fall in love?

Hello Panda. This Cat.

Yes, Cat believe is possible for a panda and a sloth to fall in love. They may have issues with compatibilities since sloth move at slower pace than panda, but panda is not known for speed, so they could make good match. What Panda and sloth have in common is they like veggies, so eating together could be fun date activity.

Panda want know how to tell if they’ve found their forever partner or not. Well. Cat has potentially controversial opinion on forever partners…

Cat is not sure that Cat believes in forever 🙀 Let Cat unpack.

First, Cat has a concept of time that is centered around the present moment, so “forever” feels somewhat strange in Cat’s imaginings.

Second, Cat observes how humans are in constant state of growing, learning, and becoming. When humans grow and change, their relationships change. This mean some relationships are for a moment, some are for a while, and some are for a long, long time. What Cat will say next is important:

Cat believes that the length of a relationship does not determine the quality of relationship.

What Cat is trying to say to Panda, is that it is okay if a relationship not last forever. It is also okay if a relationship does last a long time, like forever.

Now that Cat has gotten spicy opinions out of the way, let’s discuss how to know if Panda has found partner in long-lasting love. Answer is: it depends. That said, (assuming that Panda’s partner is Sloth), Cat would contemplate the following questions:

Do Panda and Sloth share values and goals? Do Sloth and Panda have similar lifestyle? Are Panda and Sloth able to communicate easily? Not only speaking but listening too. Can Panda be vulnerable with Sloth and is Sloth supportive when Panda shares hard feelings? (Now reverse Uno: Can Sloth be vulnerable with Panda and is Panda supportive when Sloth shares hard feelings?) Does Sloth bring out best in Panda? (Reverse Uno this too.) Do Panda and Sloth accept each other for who they are without needing to change or fix each other? Can Panda and Sloth support each other during tough times? Do Panda and Sloth make each other laugh? (Cat would guess answer to this question is yes. Big yes. 🐼)

See, lot of factors for consider. It all very, very, personal, and specific to the pandas and the sloths that are involved. Perhaps Panda needs to shred bamboo before eating, but the mess of shredded bamboos gives Sloth big stressies. Are Panda and Sloth able to talk about this and find a way to adjust and adapt so that Panda gets to eat bamboo in a way that is comfy for Panda while also being respectful of Sloth’s needs? Is Sloth is able to manage Sloth’s stressies in a way that honors Sloth’s needs while also making sure that Panda feels seen, supported, and loved?

tl;dr: Cat believe that communication and compatibility are two important ingredients that can lead to long-lasting and (more importantly) loving relationships. Well, that, and the fanny flutters 🩷

Panda, Cat wishes you a happy valentines. Thank you for trusting Cat with question. If Panda knows any sloths, please say Hi from Cat 😽

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To Cat
from Frog

Hey cat! Frog wants to know how to overcome sadness after breakup, especially around valentines 🐸

Hey Frog! Overcome sadness after breakup is hard, so don’t be too hard on self. First, Frog must feel the feelings: feelings like sadness, hurt, anger, and lonelies. Cat knows this is no fun, but this is quickest and most effective way to get through a breakup.

There are activities that can help Frog feel the feelings. Listen to musics. Play musics. Write in journal. Spend time outdoors. Spend time with animals. Express self with creativite activities like art, collage, and crafts.

Let tears come out. If have trouble crying, try watching sad movie or video. When Cat feels sadnesses and needs to cry but cannot, Cat types “feral kitten journey” into YouTube on metal box. Cat does this when Cat can get comfy and has lots of privacy. Always helps release Cat’s tears.

Sometimes, Cat discusses sadnesses with dustbunnies. Dustbunnies are good listeners and Cat trusts them. When Cat feels sadnesses, sometimes laughters is what Cat needs. Friends are good for making laughters and for listening.

For overcome sadness after breakup around Valentine’s Day, Cat’s advices is give self special treats. What make Frog feel good? Does Frog like to feel cool spring waters on skin while hiding under shade of smooth green leaf? Does Frog like to eat bugs and chase bubbles in pond?

Whatever makes Frog feel good, do it. This is called self-soothing. Cat soothes by making extra long bathtime. Cat licks paws and licks furs until Cat feels calm, comfy, and *just so*. Making air biscuits very soothing for Cat as well. What soothes Frog?

Cat’s biggest advices to help Frog get through a breakup is for Frog to trust that sadness will pass. Life is full of both sadness and joy. Sometimes just knowing this helps. Cat loves you ❤️‍🩹ฅ (• ˕ •マ

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to Cat
from Laylalalala

Does Cat have a valentine ❤💘😻💌🫶💞💗💖?

On Valentine’s Day, Cat has houseguests. Big group of dustbunnies are in town for their annual quantum physics conference, so Cat will host a late night Valentine’s party. Cat will provide Cheetos dust for dustbunnies, and dusties will tell Cat stories about time travelling through black holes. Cat has also invited Worm who will bring dirt pie, but Worm will only show up if there is rain, so Cat not know yet if Worm can make it. Happy Valentine’s Day Laylalalala! 😻

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to Cat
from Grace

hey cat, what do I do if a guy I like knows I like him but wont say anything? What do I do??? If you answer me wisely I will make sure to get cat many many crunchy treats..and shrimp treats :)

Grace has made conditions that Cat must meet in order to receive crunchies and this makes Cat nervous! However, Cat has great admiration for how Grace navigates assertively, so Cat will shoot Cat’s shot.

Here is Cat’s answer: if Cat was Grace, Cat would just speak to guy. However, Cat would do so in a way that prompts guy to do more than what guy is currently doing, which is not saying anything. Grace cannot do all the work.

See, in order for Grace to know that guy is deserving of Grace and her attentions, and in order for Grace to know if guy shares interest and is not simply basking in the knowledge of Grace’s affections, guy needs to make efforts equal to Grace’s efforts. Does Grace agree?

Cat would like to present Grace with two options of what to do.

First option is what Cat would do, but keep in mind, Cat uses this method to capture prey and influence Cat’s human, so while Cat’s approach may be somewhat-forward-yet-not-very-direct and more appropriate for cats, Cat will share anyway. Cat’s second option is straightforward and leaves less room for wonderings.

First option: When Grace and guy are in same space, make eye contact with guy. Grace must be bold and hold eye contact, then look away. Take a moment. Remember to breathe. How did that feel? What did Grace observe while making eye contact? Give self moment to process.

Next step is to make eye contact with guy for a second time. This time, while Grace makes eye contact, say “Hi.” Can practice in mirror to get feel for it. Just a simple, confident, friendly “Hi.”

Now that Grace has initiated contact, ball is in guy’s court. Grace says that guy knows that Grace likes him, so now that Grace has made contact and opened door to more communications, it is guy’s turn to return efforts. This is reciprocity, or mutual exchange.

If guy does not show interest in reciprocating contact, this has nothing to do with Grace—this is simply information, and information, like wisdoms, is power. Guy may not be ready to be romantic. Guy may like someone else. Guy may lack confidence or may not have courage needed to return Grace’s “Hi.” If any or all of the above is the case, Grace may want to reconsider attentions towards guy, or, may consider trying Cat’s second, more direct option. Remember, reciprocity is important.

Second option: be direct. Cat advises Grace to simply walk up to guy and start conversation. Can start conversation by introducing self and then asking question like “So, how do you think you did on today’s math test?” If question sparks conversation, this is information. This information tells Grace more about the possibility of reciprocity, or mutual liking. If guy answers wisely, Grace has more information to use when decide how to proceed.

Extra credit questions: What does Grace think of guy’s answer? Does it increase or decrease Grace’s interest? Does guy smile or frown? Does guy ask how Grace did on math test? Does guy have soft eyes? Does guy act embarrassed, annoyed, or bored? Does guy act nervous, awkward, or shy? Does guy seem interested in more conversation?

Answer to all of the above = more information. Give self time to process and reflect.

Once Grace has had first conversation with guy, more conversations easier to initiate. No worry if conversation is awkward at first, this normal. Finding common ground is key to making conversations flow. Cat trusts Grace knows how to do. In fact, Cat has a feeling that Grace will be good at this.

Was Cat’s answer wise enough to earn many many crunchy treats from Grace? 😻

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to Cat
from naiaa

does cat have/want a valentine? and does cat have tips for getting one?

Hello naiaa. Cat would like Valentine to be readers who click hearts and leave crunchies in comments. Cat knows only way to receive this is to make newsletter for readers, so Cat’s tip for getting is to give.

Giving is always easy way to receive. This is because energy enjoys exchange.

naiaa can test this out by giving a Valentine to someone. Could be teacher, could be friend, could be parent or relative or pet or neighbor or even character in book. Cat make warning: giving a Valentine no is guarantee that naiaa will get a Valentine in return, but one thing Cat can guarantee is that it feels good to give. So try, and see what happen.

Pro tip: can always give a Valentine to self, which means naiaa will most definitely receive one. 😺

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to Cat
from ehcatfollower

Cat, hooman haves another question, me haves a girl best friend, that i think is pretty, fun and funny. And I thinks am in love, but i do not get the butterflies in the stomach or the skipping the heartbeat, I am unsure on what to do.

Cat’s advices for humans who not know what to do will always be the same, so Cat will give this advices to ehcatfollower. You must listen to the rustle of the morning stars. (Cat read this in book once and Cat immediately understood, so Cat has remembered this wisdom ever since.)

This what mean: Listening to the rustle of the morning stars means tuning into intuitions. Some call intuitions gut feelings. This is because feelings that come from gut are different than thinkings that come from the head.

The rustle of the morning stars is not the voice of the head, it is the voice of the heart.

For many humans, voice of head is louder than voice of the heart. Voice of head, (also called thinkings) is so loud it make it difficult to hear voice of heart. The best way to listen to the heart is to make thinkings more quiet.

Cat has some methods for ehcatfollower to try, may make it easier for hear voice of heart.

First method is to get comfy and quiet and close eyes. Make picture in mind of early morning, of dawn. Sun has not quite risen yet. World is quiet and sky is starting to lighten. Spend time notice details of this picture until can see morning stars twinkling in distance. Listen for their rustle, listen for heart’s leanings. Get comfy inside heart space. Can take long deep breath here too, if like to. Sit quietly for a moment or two. Then open eyes slowly. Can flex toe beans, roll shoulders, and yawn if feel good.

Second method is to take time every day to occupy thinkings with small activities. Things like coloring, walking, dancing. Even chores like sweeping, washing dishes, or tidying will do. Some of Cat’s small activities are lying on floor and thwacking tail, sitting like loaf on back of couch, and looking out window with eyes half open. Small activities keep thinkings busy so that heart has space to speak and be heard. Trick is to not try. Trick is just do with open mind and see what happen.

Now. Cat’s advices for ehcatfollower’s situation is to find some time to get quiet. Then follow Cat’s first method for listening to voice of heart. If hear voice of heart, just sit with it. If no hear voice of heart, just sit with the stillness. In either scenario, no need do anything. Just sit and be. Practice this regular. Maybe do when wake up before get out of bed. Maybe do when get into bed before go to sleep. Maybe do while riding in car. ehcatfollower can choose time that feels *just so* for ehcatfollower.

ehcatfollower says girl best friend is pretty, fun, and funny. Cat thinks girl best friend sounds great. Cat want remind ehcatfollower that there are many different kinds of love. Love for a bestie, romantic love, crushy love, love for family, love for animals or musics, or ideas. All forms of love are wonderful. Trick is knowing which kind of love you feeling, and when.

To know more about what kind of love you may be feeling, ehcatfollower, Cat suggests some self-reflective activities. What this mean? This mean spending time alone with self, writing in journal, drawing, doodling, playing music, doing puzzle, writing short story or poem, and meditating. These activities help make deeper connection with self. Help make friendlies with inner self. Knowing self better allows inner thoughts to speak more clearly. (Why Cat no suggest activities like video games or TikTok? Cat enjoys video games and TikTok, but in this case, Cat prefers activities that no use metal box.)

ehcatfollower says unsure what to do. Cat not sure need to do anything, just yet. Suggest take time before take action. Cat believe that over time, answer may become clear. For now, Cat suggest sit with feelings and tune into heart. The love butterflies and skipping heartbeats? They have strange way of showing up when the time is right.

If want try a journal exercise, ehcatfollower can write answers to the following questions in journal: Has ehcatfollower ever felt flutters for a human before? What was that human like? What does ehcatfollower like the most about girl best friend? What kind of qualities in a human does ehcatfollower find appealing? What kind of qualities in a human does ehcatfollower find unappealing?

No need do anything with answers in journal. This exercise just for ehcatfollower, for help clarify feelings. (And perhaps ehcatfollower might find it fun.)

Please keep Cat updated. Cat loves you! ≽👁️ܫ👁️≼

If readers want ask Cat about something, can leave question here or in comments. Cat loves to answer questions and give advices.

Since Cat has been thinking about love while answering reader’s questions, Cat made video dedicated to one of Cat’s great loves: shrimps.

Please enjoy.

If readers would consider subscribing to Cat’s YouTube channel, would please Cat very much. Thank you, The Management.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
Thank you for playing, Cat 🐾

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