springtime mailbag

Coming out to your parents, spicy shrimp vs regular, and being okay with not being normal.

Olá. This Cat. It is April already and mailbag is overdue. To make up for no mailbag in March, Cat made this mailbag supersized. Even then, very many questions Cat did not get to this time. Cat has three things to say about this.

1. Cat reads every question but because Cat can be a little bit disorganized, sometimes questions get lost. If many months passed and Cat still did not answer your question, please ask again here or send Cat an email with your question.

2. Sometimes Cat receives question that Cat already answered. Feel free to read archives of Cat’s mailbag.

3. Cat not actually have third thing to say. Cat just likes the number 3.

Now, please grab some crunchies and tuck into your comfiest loaf position, this is your extra long mailbag, springtime edition.

📍Please note: This advice column is intended for lighthearted, cat-themed questions and friendly advice. While we care deeply about our readers and their well-being, we are not equipped to handle serious, sensitive, or emergency issues. If you or someone you know is in danger or experiencing harm, please speak with a trusted adult or contact a professional support service.

To Cat
from Antony

Hola cat ¿Por qué mi esclavo (dueño)no quiere salir de casa tan seguido ? Investigando en su caja de metal pequeña descubrí que solo tiene 2 amigas y pero viven muy lejos ¿Que le debería desir?

Hello cat, why doesn't my servant (owner) want to leave the house so often? Investigating in her small metal box I discovered that she only has 2 friends and but they live very far away. What should I tell her?

Cat commends you for accessing your human’s small metal box. Did you order more crunchies while you were investigating? No? Next time, then.

Cat observes that very many humans have only one or two friends. For others, only have friends who live very far away. Humans move around. Change jobs, change homes, change friends. Maybe you wish for your human to have more friends who live closer. Someday this may happen. When we are living vibrantly, with hope, life is full of new experiences, even new friends. Tell human to stay curious and open. Friends come and go. In meantimes, enjoy living, enjoy life.

You ask: “Why doesn’t my servant (owner) want to leave the house so often?” Cat gave this some thought. Maybe human not leave house often because she senses that you regard her as your servant. If you are doing good job of being a cat, she will always serve you. Maybe give her a day off every once in a while?

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To Cat
from Damon W

what is your opinion on spicy shrimp vs regular

Hello. While Cat enjoys the concept of spiciness, reality is that spicy things have too many aggressive flavors for Cat. Regulars just fine.

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To Cat
from kitten!!

what to do about my bills!?!?!?!? (p.s. I don't wanna pay my bills or taxes!! XPPPP) help me out!! ( will pay in catnip if u pay my bills and taxes for my nine lives!!🍧🦴)

Hello kitten!! Cat understands your dilemma. Cat may not have experience paying bills or doing taxes, but Cat does have experience doing things Cat does NOT want to do, like getting nails trimmed and eating cold liver pâté. Cat not sure Cat will have best advices for you, but Cat will give it a try.

Cat believe that biggest reason paying debts is good, is because it relieves stress of having them. The silver-lining of doing hard things not want to do is: it good practice for growing, adapting, and dealing with life. More can practice doing these things now, more can be enjoyer of life when kitten become cat.

Or, kitten can shred bills and pretend they not exist…but problems will catch up to kitten if not deal with them now. Take care of problems now, more time later for enjoyments. 🤝

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To Cat
from Wendy

hello cat!

I would like to know if you have any advice about how to tell my parents that I'm bisexual and have a girlfriend. I think it's that they'll be supportive but I'm not sure what to say.

best regards, wendy.

Hello wendy! Cat salutes you with both paws up. You are carrying something sparkly and soft and wonderful in your heart, and now you are wondering how to share it with your humans. Cat sees you.

First, Cat want to say: it is a beautiful thing to know yourself, and to love someone, and to want to be true. This is no small thing. This is big cat, lion-hearted living.

You say you think your parents might be supportive—this sound like a hopeful feeling to Cat, a good sign. But even hopeful things can come with nerves. Speaking truths that live in the heart can feel like jumping off the the back of the couch in the dark. We not always know how things will land, even if we feel sure of the terrain.

So here is Cat’s advices:

• You do not have to say everything all at once. A little at a time is okay. “I want to share something about who I am” is a good way to start. Go at your own pace. This is all about what feels good to you.

• If speaking feels too big, maybe writing a note or a message could help. Words on paper can be brave too. Writing or journaling your thoughts before speaking can be helpful. Writing creates space for you to remember and refine what you want to say.

• You might choose to talk to one parent first. Or someone else you trust—a kind aunt, a wise teacher, a school counselor, a trusted friend, or even an animal who listens with big eyes. Tapping into support before, during, and after big talk can help you feel extra-loved.

• You can come out in any way you like, and you don’t owe anyone anything. If parents have lot of questions that you are uncomfortable answering, it’s okay to tell them “That’s not something I am ready to talk about right now.”

• Lastly, and very important: think gently ahead. If your parents don’t react as you hope right away, is there someone you could stay with or talk to while feelings settle? A friend’s house, a cousin’s couch, a caring grownup? Just knowing you have a net can make a big leap feel safer.

Cat believes it not being dramatic or overly cautious to think about comfort and safety. It being wise. Even when we believe someone will love us just the same, it’s still okay to make sure we’re held, no matter what.

And remember: if your heart gets tangled or feels heavy, that’s okay too. Talking to someone kind who knows how to listen can help you feel steadier. Sharing your feelings not mean something is wrong—it mean you’re being loving with yourself.

Coming out is a process: humans are constantly changing, growing, and becoming. Whatever happen when talk to parents, please keep this thought tucked in your back pocket: Your heart is exactly right-shaped.

Love, Cat

P.S. Sometimes humans take a little time to grow into their better selves. But your truth is still yours, and it’s worth protecting with tenderness. You might find this Coming Out Handbook helpful—it’s full of kind and thoughtful ideas: 👉 The Trevor Project’s Coming Out Handbook

Cat want to share one last thing for any young people reading this: If you need resources or someone to talk to, you can text, chat, or call The Trevor Project anytime. They’re there to help with care, understanding, and support—especially for LGBTQIA+ folks under 25. You don’t have to go through anything alone, there are warm paws waiting 🐾

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To Cat
from Silvergoat

Does Cat like chandelier?

Before Cat answers this question, Cat would like to know why you are asking.
Thank you, The Management.

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To Cat
from UrL0c4lR4t 

Can I have some free angies managing advice? (I don wanna hear nuthin like "take deep breaths" or "talk to someone trusted")

Hello. You ask about anger management. Good question. Okay, you not want hear about taking deep breaths, but here is the thing. When feel angry, first thing do is react. However. It is always better to respond. Taking deep breath is trick humans use to create space. When have some space, can actually choose whether to react or respond, and being able to choose gives you agency and power. But you want other tricks. Okay, no problem. Cat has two tricks for you to consider.

One trick is to find a physical release. When Cat has pent up frustrations and angers, Cat takes it out on kick toy. Feels good to release the angies so they don’t pile up inside body. Do you have access to cardboard boxes and a private space like a garage or backyard? Cat wonders how you might feel if you took out your angies on some old cardboard boxes. Cat has observed Cat’s human stomping on empty frozen yogurt popsicle boxes. Cat’s human stomps on them in the kitchen and laughs like maniac while doing so. Of course, Cat’s human is an adult and can do whatever want to do in their kitchen. (If you are not an adult human, you might need to tell parents or roommates you are breaking down boxes for recycling and do it in the garage.) If stomping on cardboard boxes is not your style, working out is good way to release angies while making room for feel-goods (also known as endorphins.)

Second trick is turn anger into laughter. What makes you laugh? Is it hooting like an owl? Doing a chicken dance? Saying ho ho ho like a big ridiculous Santa? Find out, and remember to use it next time you feel angies. Anger is energy that needs a release. Sometimes humor can help make release easier. HAHAHAHAHA!

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To Cat
from Tris

How did cat get through cat school? What if you fail each test and lose hope?

Cat has confession: Cat never went to school. Cat is self-taught. Name for this is autodicat. Reason Cat share this with you is because school learning is not for everyone. Some learn through experience rather than school. Some learn by making mistake and try again until get it right. Some learn by teaching self, like Cat. Lifelong learners use experimentation and curiosity, try different approach until find good fit.

However. School is requirement for many humans. Especially young ones. So, even if school is not for you, must try to get through it. So Cat will give you some practical advices.

First, if failing tests, try not be too hard on self. Being hard on self will only make self feel bad. No need for that. Second, if having troubles with tests or homework, Cat’s advices is to ask for help. Can you tell parents you are struggling and need help? Can they see if there is tutor or study aids for you at school? Maybe teacher can give extra time for completing tests.

Cat is big fan of asking for help. Even if parents or teachers not have solutions right away, asking for help is proactive. Cat believe that making actions when facing problems always helps to move the problem, even just a little bit, and moving energies is good, makes you feel less stuck, less despairs.

And finally, try not worry too much. Cat understands that young humans must feel very many pressures in big, fast-moving world. Big secret: Cat recently learned that Cat’s human failed algebras many times. Cat’s human had to take algebra class three times before finally passing with C minus grade. In the end, Cat’s human turned out okay. Cat’s human may not have mastered algebra, but Cat’s human did master skill of persistence and not giving up. All you can do is try best you can. When try do best, things work out, one way or another.

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To Cat
from Littlebrowncat

you know the metal box is called a computer, right?

Interesting. In Cat’s experience, computer is tool humans use for exercising their fingers, and metal box is tool Cat uses for writing newsletters and ordering crunchy treats.

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to Cat
from Snake

Dear cat, As I see this, I feel sad. For some reason, I get sad memories, and I very much feel like I have to share them.

I have lost a few friends over the years. It may sound stupid to still be sad after years but it's okay it gives good memories with said friend and I've had worse that are private in my family but it's all okay.

Cat can I get some advice for this problem? Thank you, Life is not working out very much....

Dear Snake, having access to the glorious full range of emotions is a powerful gift. Tough at times to feel the sads, but so important to feel the feelings and honor them through expression. Why? Because this is how we let them go. (Trust Cat: feelings want to be expressed, rather than bottled up inside where they tend to fester.)

Cat has lost friends and family too. This is one of the hardest sadnesses to bear, so Cat fully supports your desire to share your sad memories and Cat understands how much you are hurting. Knowing that we are not alone in our sadness can help, just leetle bit.

One thing Cat has noticed during Cat’s short time on Earth, is that relationships tend to come and go throughout life as we change and grow, and this is okay. It is never stupid to feel sad, even years later. It is simply a testament to how deeply you love. Losing friends is not a failure. It just is.

Cat sends hugs and thanks you for sharing ❤️

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To Cat
from ANG3L

I has important question. Does cat support not being "normal". I no judge if not, I just curious.

Cat supports being self no matter what others think. Normal, not normal, all are okay. Cat wonders what is “normal”, anyway? Best is to be self. Cat loves you 🐱

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to Cat
from ehcatfollower

Cat, i am conflicted, i have fallen into this loop of solve problem, and much worse problem appear, it is exhausting and makes me feel terrible. I know life is worth it, but I have honest considered the jump window. Please, give me advice.

Hello friend. Cat knows that feeling exhausted and terrible is hard. Cat urges you not to give up. Cat especially urges no jump windows.

Now for advices. Solve problem is important and useful skill. Cat can only imagine that by sourcing and using this skill, you are building strength. This hard work, so please no forget to love on self, be kind to self, and allow self plenty of rests and treats.

One thing about catching many problems, each one worse than next, is that sticking with it and persevering (aka strength-building) is what make growth. Much harder for humans to grow when life is in easy mode.

You say you know life is worth it. Cat is glad you feel this way, because Cat also knows that life is worth it. Cat wonders if you also know that the way you are feeling will pass, just like the hard times will pass. This just the nature of things—everything comes and goes. Life is made up of ups and downs, good times and bad times, easy mode and hard mode. Learning how adjust, adapt, and accept is how we grow joy.

Knowing that feelings will pass—that our feelings come and go—this may help you not feel overwhelmed, may help you when feel like giving up. When Cat feels like stuck in loop of problems, Cat thinks of saying Cat once heard, “just take it one day at a time.” Cat thinks this mean just try focus on present moment. Makes sense to Cat. Eases burden of worry and fretting and makes problem solving little bit easier too.

Cat’s final thought is to tell you: you got this! If feel exhausted, give self some grace. (Crunchies will work too.) Cat’s dms always open if need to talk. Cat loves you.

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To Cat
from Zoe

Wut does cat like doing in free time? (Here is treat 🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤)

Cat does enjoy the watersports…

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To Cat
from Lexi

Who would win in a fight, a cat or a dog

Has Cat answered this question before? Really depends on the cat and the dog involved, and what kind of fight. Is it an eye-contact war? In this case, probables cat always wins. Is it a tail wagging match? In this case, probables dog will win.

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to Cat
from PARTYdino

how does cat get so popular on sub stack? :} teach me your ways >:3

Cat approaches substack same way Cat approaches food bowl. Every day, Cat visits, pays small attentions. Checks for crumbs, checks for fresh meats. Not pay too much attentions though, Cat has other important things to do. But Cat makes everyday efforts on substack, leaving comments and hearts, making friendlies. Cat is consistent. And of course, Cat is wise to big wisdom: Cats are Internet gold.

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to Cat
from Maggie

I would say I'm sad because of fake friends. How would I get out of situations with fake friends and how can I avoid them?

Cat thinks there are several ways to get out of situations with fake friends. It’s about setting boundaries, but really what this mean is prioritizing self. If not like being around fake friends, spend less time with them. This is one kind of boundary, soft kind. Other way of making boundary is to communicate what you expect from friends, and then give them chance to treat you with care and respect. If you do this and they not respect your boundaries, you are free to move on. Moving on not necessarily mean ending friendships or dramatically cutting them off. Can simply choose to spend less time with them, and think of them more as acquaintance, rather than friend.

As far as avoiding fake friends, this takes some practice. Involves observing feelings and instincts when you are around other humans. True friends are caring and supportive, they make us feel good. Observe how your friends make you feel. Notice if they make time for you, if they are curious about you, if they make effort to hang out with you. Spend more time with the friends who make you feel good, and less time with those who make you feel bad.

It’s okay to feel sad because of fake friends. Cat has felt disappointment over friendships that didn’t work out too. Finding good friends is really hard! Not as easy as television and books make it seem. Especially if you are young and still growing into yourself. Friendships come and go, and that is okay 💓

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Cat,
Are you ever scared and shy and it makes you not enjoy timeoww.
Love, L

P.S:I'm really shy so don't show the email!😻

Your email is safe with Cat. Answer to your question is yes, Cat does feel scared and shy sometimes. Especially around new creatures or unfamiliar situations. When Cat feels shy, Cat plays pretend and imagines self as a big cat. In big cat mode, Cat sits tall and ruffles up fur around neck. Big imagination makes shyness seem smaller.

Would it make you feel better to know that feeling scared and shy is normals?Everybody feels it at some point in life, some are just better at pretending.

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To Cat
from Delusional

how does one find motivation to do all the things

Good question. When Cat is have hard time motivate, Cat think of reward that Cat can give self.

See, one of Cat's jobs is to run perimeter around house. Cat run perimeter to make sure human is safe, to make sure house is secure. But sometimes Cat feels lazy. Not want do job, want lie on floor and slap tail on floors instead.

So to motivate self, Cat make job part of game that has rule: if Cat runs perimeter, Cat may have reward. Reward can be sniff out extra chunks that fall outside of bowl, or scratch cardboard box until human come give scritches, or curl up in bed and luxuriate with long bathing session.

Trick is to create a reward for yourself, then follow rule of game. Most thing in life are like game. Once understand this, can run game and play to win.

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To Cat
from KrazyCatLady

Cat, why people expect me to be someone I’m not? Why expect me to want something I don’t want, even though I make it clear I don’t want it?

Here’s crunchies 🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤

In perfect world, all creatures would accept each other exactly as they are. Acceptance of all things is secret key to enjoying life. Cat’s human is industrious and lazy, loud and quiet, messy and neat: Cat must accept all parts of human. Cat is full of complexities too: sweet and spicy, obedient and willful, sedentary and zoomy. Most creatures are complex. It is what makes them interesting and dynamic. If only everyone understood this, right? If you have made clear you not want something, you have set boundary. If others not respect your boundary, not your problem!

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to Cat
from Faris

Do you have a favorite way to scream in the middle of the night?

As matter of fact, yes, Cat does have a favorite way to scream in the middle of the night. It sound like this.

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To: cat.
From: julio (my real name)

Dear cat, why do i feel if i was stalked at night and feel in a liminal space?

Hello Julio. This Cat (real name). Cat is very intrigued by this question. As far as feeling you were stalked at night—Cat needs more details. But feeling like you are in a liminal space: Cat has some thoughts for you.

See, between sleeping and waking, there is a space—what you call liminal. This space is like a magic hallway between worlds. There are two of these spaces that Cat knows of and they have names. Let Cat unwrap.

🌙 Hypnagogia is the swirly sensation you feel just as you’re falling asleep. Maybe you see strange pictures, or feel like you’re floating, or hear sounds that no one else hears. This not spooky—this your mind stretching itself into the dreamworld.

🌤️ Hypnopompia is what happen just before you wake up. Dreams might be clinging to you, like dust bunnys hanging on to bottom of couch. Might feel fuzzy or upside-down for a moment. That okay too. That your brain slowly slipping back into the land of clocks and crunchies.

Both of these times are liminal spaces and they’re full of very many possibility. This where inspiration runs the perimeter of your mind. This where ideas curl up and purr. Artists, dreamers, and even scientists have found treasures in these in-between spaces.

Cat’s advices: If find self in liminal space between sleeping and waking, try not rush through it. Let yourself float. If something odd or interesting shows up—a strange voice, a flying teacup, a feeling of your body being made of stars—just observe. No have to believe it, and no have to be afraid of it either. Just know its your mind doing cartwheels in the soft grass between worlds.

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to Cat
from Moonlight Rambles

Cat, have you ever moved home? Me moved home today first time, had to leave nice comfy bedroom behind. Liked lying in sunny bedroom, now sad im gone. Guess will make new bedroom in future days, but changing is scary. Here is shrimpies as thank yous for your time 🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤🍤💖💖💖

Cat has moved away from home, leaving comfy things behind…but Cat agrees with you, change can be scary. But change be fun too. Making fresh start, planning new bedroom, and making new discoveries…these are the fun stuffs.

Dream big, Moonlight Rambles, you are captain of ship that is your life. 💗ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\

LaLaLalliPop11, The grugger, naiaa, Tofu_pizza, Culty Chef, Pigon, Maya, Capybara, A cattyl0v3r, Ryley and everyone else who left questions: Cat has run out of space. Cat sees you and Cat will answer questions in next mailbag. If your question is time-sensitive, feel free to email Cat or send a DM and Cat will do best to respond.

Now Cat has question for readers:
How are you enjoying springtime? 🌱 Please be specific, Cat wants details.

Thank you for reading. Crunchies in comments always appreciated.
Love, Cat 🐾

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