rest, renewal, and resistance

Cat learns how to fall apart.

Aloha! This Cat.

Has been some time since Cat has sent newsletter and Cat has missed reading comments, collecting hearts, and acquiring crunchies from readers.

Where Cat go? What Cat do?

Buckle up kittens, Cat will tell you.

Well, firstly, Cat took break. Big break. Cat learn there is word for big break. Has name of saccatical, or, “an extended period of leave for rest, renewal, or research.”

May be thinking, ‘But Cat has easy life. Sit around all day, napping, eating tender morsels from crystal goblet on a velvet pillow, why Cat need take break?’

Cat will tell you. Cat spend very many days in past months sitting on windowsill, watching storm clouds gather. Lot of noise in human world. Lot of chaos. Lot of angers. Lot of fear.

See, Cat feels pain of human world. And Cat is not alone in feeling world pain. Humans, animals, and other beings also carry heavy feelings of world conflicts. Trees feel it. Wind feels it. Water feels it. Earth feels it.

May be thinking, “But Cat is too sensitive, Cat is being dramatic. Trees don’t have feelings, Cat is letting imaginations run wild.” These thinkings are understandables. But Cat wishes to share this thought-form:

We are connected. All of us.

Cat knows how very hard not lose hope and slip into feelings of despairs. When troubles come, Cat could run and hide. Cat could puff up tail and shred back of couch.

Or Cat could simply be.

Cat has learned that this simply being is also called resistance—a resistance that is like holding the weight of things that try to make you forget what is true.

See, resistance can be very many things. Not always about fighting with teeth, claws, and growls.

Resistance can also be found in the spirit that does not surrender to hatred or fear.

Resistance can be the refusal to be swept away by the lies that come from the powerful. The ones who want you to believe that there’s no hope. The ones who want to make you forget what’s true: that you are part of something much larger than yourself.

We are connected. All of us.

So Cat spend very many days and weeks sitting at home on saccatical, simply being. Simply holding the truth of who Cat is, what Cat is feeling, and how Cat will choose to respond.

However. Many weeks of saccatical gives Cat hungers. Big hungers.

Crunchy supply ran out long time ago. No very many refills. Cat’s human says we need to EAt HeAlTHieR and saVe MOniEs. Cat’s human works long days. Comes home at night tired, flops on couch. During day while human is at work, Cat helps out at home.

Cat sweep the floor. Cat empty the wastebaskets. Cat tidy the coffee table. Cat wash the dishes. Cat want help human because Cat loves Cat’s human and Cat want make house sParRkLinG and CleAn for human (because teamwork makes the dream work.)

And soon the days grow longer. The sun shines brighter. The airs of summer blow hot and dry. And Cat reach breaking point. After weeks of simply being, of holding complexities, of making contemplations, and of doing very many dreary chores, Cat realize something important. Cat needs creativities. Cat needs care.

Cat needs joy.

First, Cat finds joy in small things. Chasing baby lizard that crosses Cat’s path when Cat takes garbages to curb. Licking gravy off of chunks in bowl. Roasting in the sun while breezes make ruffles in Cat’s back hairs. Leaving copious gifts of hairball and slime on Cat’s human’s metal box.

Joy.

Can you imagine?

During Cat’s saccatical, Cat read something about joy and resistance, written by very old, very wise being, name of Edgar Morin.

104-year-old Morin says the first, most important resistance is the one that happens inside the heart, inside the mind.

Morin says the real resistance comes from within. It’s in the small things, like standing up for kindness, discerning facts from lies, speaking truth even when it’s hard, and finding ways to connect, not divide.

It’s in the small acts of creation, joy, and care. It’s about making space for love, life, and connection to flourish.

Even when crunchies run low. Even when dishes in sink pile up. Even when world seems set on destruction.

Joy.

Can you imagine?

All summer long, Cat finds joy in widening circles. Watching baby eagles in Big Bear leave the nest. Collecting monies to buy flowers from vendors to keep them safe from danger. Sniffing the desert night airs to encounter the rare beauty of night-blooming cereus. Supporting local journalism. Listening to the wind blow through the tress. Making musics with neighbor with long hairs who tinkers in his garage.

Joy.

Can you imagine?

Even if world feels like it’s falling apart, resistance is like gazing steadily into the void. Resistance is the ability to resist hatred and fear, and the strength of holding onto the truth of who you are.

A wise, tender-hearted elder, name of Joanna Macy, who died in July once wrote:

It is good to realize that falling apart is not such a bad thing. Indeed, it is as essential to transformation as the cracking of outgrown shells. Anxieties and doubts can be healthy and creative, not only for the person, but for the society, because they permit new and original approaches to reality.

What do Cat’s readers think? Is possible to turn anxieties and doubts into creative outlets for change? For joy?

Can you imagine?

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Thank you for reading.
Thank you for being.
Love, Cat 🐾