september mailbag

Crunchies, how to be like Cat, and the cat distribution system

Hello. This Cat. Special delivery. Priority mailbag, September edition. Cat answer more question. Please be enjoyer. Thank you for playing.

to Cat
from elsiebellz

wut cat favorite crunchy treat

Many reader ask Cat on crunchies, elsiebellz. Cat try give answer. Cat favorite crunchy come in small, crinkle bag. Best crunchy treat is little, square, rounded. Dark color. Not heavy, not light. Just right. Have crispy, crunchy crust. Maximum flavor. Inside treat is soft, delightful filling. Big flavor. Huge. Sometime smell like fishes, sometime smell like meats. Sometime smell like nip. Sometime Cat no chew, just snarf.

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to Cat
from Ulisses

Give us some lore, Cat. Where do you come from? What were you like as a kitten?

Hello. Cat has much lore. When Cat was younger, Cat was a ramblin’ cat. Spend days travelling around lot. This when Cat get job at bus terminal cocktail bar, name of Cuddles. Sometime Cat serve drink. Sometime Cat collect peanut shell from floor. Mostly Cat work door. This job call bouncer. Cat learn how bounce at Cuddles 😼

Young Cat working the night shift at Cuddles

Cat sleep in back room of Cuddles at night, eat popcorn and many martini olive. Much interesting human come to bus terminal, Cat make lot friend. Cat meet writer who come to bar every day. Writer and Cat spend lot time eat peanuts, contemplate life. Writer end up make many books, even make movie inspire by Cat. This long time pass, before Cat find Cat’s human and live with human in house with many crunchies.

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to Cat
from andres pineiro

why cat like knock things down

Cat like knock things down just because. Not have better reason, sorry.

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to Cat
from Sir cat the forth

Does kitty like nirvana (band) or Kurt kobain

Cat know this nirvana is musics, but Cat’s musics same as human’s musics. (If Cat had choice, Cat listen only musics of jazz and classicals.) This some of Cat’s humans musics that Cat enjoy lately:

This human name Alice. Plays piano, harp, sing. Cat enjoy watch sunrise while listen Alice. Good for much contemplation in morning times.

This musics about human name Giovanni. But everybody call Giorgio. This Giorgio talk lot about sinnsizers. Cat enjoy, like big cronch. Cat alway like learn.

Cat’s human sing this musics while kiss Cat forehead and give cheek scritches. This musics about birds and feathers⁉️ Cat not know why Cat’s human sing about bird to Cat. So silly.

Sir cat the forth, can share name nirvana musics? Cat interest to listen. Thank you.

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to Cat
from Ello De Pello

Does cat have a morning routine 🤔

Cat love routine. This what Cat do in morning: First Cat trot perimeter of house. Cat sniff all corner, door, crevice, make sure location secure. Then Cat sit in window, watch morning workings, wait for sun come up, make sure world on schedule. Most of time, Cat need wake human up several time, ask for food 🙄 After eat delicious juicy meats, Cat wash face, much licking. Then light massage with gua sha. Sometime Cat sit in bathroom while human take showr for receive steam, and for make sure human is safe. After steam, Cat run perimeter check again. Then find sun spot on floor for begin very busy day nap and snack.

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to Cat
from Goober

Cat how do u write without thumbs?

Cat have part like thumb but not call thumb. Call carpal pad. Carpal pad different from other toe. Found below main toe. Cat use carpal like thumb, use for tap metal box. Cat mostly use thumb-like carpal pad for tap SPACEBAR.

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to Cat
from Idropkickedsomekids

Hi Cat. Pls tell me how to be like cat.

Hello. Cat tell how be like cat. Must be main character in your life. This not mean be big head or selfish. This mean have much inner knowing. This mean pay much attention to senses, feelings, and dreams. Being like cat is attend to self, to senses. Lot of rest and naps and crunchies feed senses. This good. When senses grow big, grow strong, when be aware of self, and especially when accept and love self, it give main character. Congratulations, now you are like cat.

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to Cat
from essencing

How does the cat distribution system work? Asking for a friend.

Industry secret, Cat cannot discuss. Cat can say, if happen to you, it not random, it vote on by advisory council. If happen to you, it mean you are belong to “the family” and receive entry in recording system of cats. System very old, must respect. No can say more ㊙️ sorry.

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to Cat
from Goober

Is cat a goober, gremlin, or goblin

Goober give trick question. Cat is goober when fall off back of couch, Cat is gremlin when perform late night zoomies, and Cat is goblin when snarf extra crunchies from pantry with no permissions.

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to Cat
from Sebas

Cat, will you ever get addicted to the nip?

Nyo, nyever ≽👁️ܫ👁️≼

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to Cat
from amanonfire

is your name quite literally “cat” or is it something else?

Name Cat.

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to Cat
from amanonfire

Does cat have an underground network of chemistry teachers that go by first name “Walter” with last name “White”?

Cat only know one chemist, go by name of Heisenberg.

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to Cat
from Sophie

Does cat have a network of other cats

Cat belong to RC9. This small network, friendly with other networks, but mostly do own thing. When Cat was live in big city, Cat belong to RB4, mostly street patrol and yowlers. Cat content now belong RC9 cats, enjoy contemplation and homegrown nip.

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from Lucy

Can I give pets?

Yes. Cat also accept crunchies.

If want leave question for Cat, Cat answer for next delivery. Please make question in comment, or go here. Can read archive of previous mailbag newsletters if you are enjoyer. Cat will accept crunchies in comments.

Thank for reading, Cat 🐾