mailbag #34

Zooming down the cat superhighway, aliens, and dealing with exhaustion.

Sawasdee, this Cat. Long time no shrimps. Mailbag is full and questions piling up. Perhaps readers would like some answers? Some advices? Maybe just some sweet treats? Okee. Let’s begin.

The year is 2026. The month is June. Find a quiet spot, a secret cache of crunchy treats, and tuck in to your favorite loaf position.

To Cat
From Maya
where did cat go?

Hello Maya. This Cat. Does Maya have time for very long story with many twists and turns? Maybe Cat will save for future newsletters. Long story short: Cat needed break from metal box and so Cat took break—big break. Taking break from screen time did Cat a world of good and Cat highly recommends. Hope you understand. Love, Cat

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To Cat
From Cat Furryson

How to stay calm when things get frustrating? (=^-ω-^=)

Hello Cat Furryson. Staying calm: very commendables. Life can be frustrating. World can be frustrating. Removing tiny pieces of popcorn from in-between teeth can be frustrating. Cat understands. Cat will admit that Cat’s instinct when dealing with frustrations is to blow up. Big yowl. Hissies. Claws out. This instinct is good because it natural. However. In Cat’s experience, big blow up sometimes make frustrations worse, not better.

Cat’s advice? Take five. Like, literally. Close eyes, take big breath, and count to five. The big pause in the form of taking five helps. Maybe sometimes need take more than five. If this is true, excuse self. Take bathroom break or do ten jumping jacks in privacy of supply closet. (Cat is not speaking from experience, just giving examples.) In Cat’s case, a quick run around the perimeter helps expend the energy of frustration, and gives Cat time to regulate.

Cat is big into visualizations. Very helpful for remain calm during frustrations. How about this: next time Furryson feels frustrated, close eyes, and picture frustrations as a big piece of bubble wrap. Now picture self doing dance on top of bubble wrap until it flat like piece of paper. Imagine sound of bubble wraps popping. Snap snap snap. So satisfying. Now picture self crumpling deflated bubble wrap into a ball and slam-dunking it into garbage can. This might help if Furryson is big into visualizations too. (Cat highly recommends.)

One last thing. Laughters always helps. Laughters has energy of deflation: like air escaping and releasing pressures. It like this: imagine something stupid and allow self to laugh at it. (Unless you are in presence of human who no have sense of humors and laughter will only make situation worse.) In this case, please use discretions.

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To Cat
From jolly rancher simp

What do the aliens want?

Hello jrs. Aliens want what most intergalactic beings want: peace, love, freedom to wander, and good soup. Cat suspect that these desires align with human desires, but humans have very many problemos to overcome before alignment can commence. For instance, aliens feel that humans are messing up the very most beautiful planet in this solar system. Too many ragings. Too much excess. Human activities disturb nature greatly, not too mention cutting down so many trees. These issues need attention.

For funsies, Cat suggest for jolly rancher simp to make inquiry of aliens and see for self what aliens have to say. If can quiet thinkings and turn on mental radio, jolly rancher simp (and all humans) can tune into so very many interesting frequencies. Musings of trees. Song of stars. Deep sea heartbeat (its not what you’d imagine). And yes, late night stand-up comedy stylings of aliens, which are very enlightening and result in much laughters.

PS. The aliens also want you to send Cat very many crunchy treats, expeditiously.

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To Cat
From NPCBARD

Hello cat, my dad suffered a heart attack and now is in a coma, I feel tired of everything but I still try, does cat know what to do..?

Dear NPCBARD. Firstly, Cat sends love, biscuits, and headbumps. Very sorry to hear about your dad. When humans we love get sick, can be easy to forget the needs of self. When we are taking care of others, they are often time the only thing we are thinking about. Is natural to forget self. Is natural because you have so much love and concern for your dad and you want him get better. So if you are tired, this sounds very understandables.

However. Are you taking care of self, too? Easy to get overwhelmed. Easy to forget the very important task of taking care of self. If NPCBARD can, try to take few moments here and there for yourself. Special things. Maybe a sweet or salty treat, a walk outside in sunshine, a big long cry by yourself, a venting session on phone with trusted pal. Just some ideas.

Most important thing Cat want to tell you is that you are doing very best you can in a very tough situation. And that is enough.

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To Cat
From 123456

what is THE best hu-man name?

Hello 123456, THE best name is 78910. Cat thinks Kevin is a pretty cool name too.

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To Cat
From Edible table

What cat opinion on cucumber? Why brethren scared of cucumber? What is deal?

Hello Edible table. Cat’s opinion on cucumber is that they are mostly harmless, but in rearview, cucumber resemble snake, and that is when brethren’s primordial instincts kick in. This is, in Cat’s opinion, the deal.

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To Cat
From maya

how do I get over chronophobia? also love u cat <3

Hello maya. Big question. Cat think long and hard on this one because it is important question. What Cat come up with is this: some humans fear time because they not want get old or die. Others fear time because they have anxieties about the limits of time. You say you want get over it. Cat’s advice for getting over things is simple, but if Cat is being honest, simple not always easy. So here goes. If want get over something, must first accept it. Once we accept things, the sufferings tend to get smaller. This is Cat’s experience anyway. While you are doing hard work of acceptance, funny thing may happen. You may discover meaning. In Cat’s opinion, finding meaning makes the passing of time much more palatable. Much more tasty. Delectable, even. This is because meaning is the spice of life.

Love u too, Cat <3

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To Cat
From SalihBanana

Hello cat. Me have problem. All I do is:

1:sleep

2:school and other activities

3:free time for whatever

4:sleep

5:sleep

6:sleep

7:sleeeeeeeeeeep

And I’m still tired 😴 in morning and bored 😑 in day

Pls help

Hello SalihBanana. Cat has big understanding of this problem. Cat struggles with similar problems on the dailies. The routine of life. The neverending obligations. The mundane affairs surrounding what it means to be a tiny furry creature trying to hold it down and survive in 2026.

For Cat, this problem feels like the twin anxiety of feeling overwhelm and underwhelm—simultaeousishly. So what to do? Well first, Cat remembers that nothing lasts forever. This is just one way of working through the muck, maintaining whatever structures life has in place for you, and doing so somewhat triumphantly. (Cat tries, anyway.)

Here’s the deal. Life is about moving from one moment to the next. Boredoms? Tireds? Life won’t always be this way because nothing lasts forever. Try to remember this. Remembering this may help you to see these moments as meaningful in some way. (And finding meaning is actually the point of, *gestures around* all of this.

SalihBanana mentions sleep five times! Cat finds very many enjoyments in sleeping. Mostly because when Cat sleeps, Cat dreams. Cat looks forward to dreaming because in dreams, anything can happen! This is what humans call “novel”, which mean new, unusual, strange, surprising. Finding “novel” ways to get through humdrum doldrum days of sleep and school and chores or whatever—this is how Cat manages. How does SalihBanana do it?

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To Cat
From David Williams

How do I call my cat?

Hello David Williams. Use one of ten meat sticks to tap cat’s number into small metal box. Hold small metal box up to David Williams’ wrinkly hole on side of head and listen for ring ring. When ring ring stops, say hello. Or, shake bag of crunchy treats and cat will come running.

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To Cat
From Dash Jones

Living in an apartment, what would be the best way to make a “cat superhighway” so that my kitties can run the interior of the room without touching the floor?

Hello Dash Jones. Do you have several many doll-hairs at disposal to make this “cat superhighway” in your apartment a reality? If not, maybe you can be inventive with cardboard and a glue gun. Cat suggest taking look on youtubes for ideas on how other humans have achieved this. Many options at disposal, ranging from a catio to simple rearrangement of furnitures (and entire life) in order to allow kitties to zoom around home without touching floors. Please report back findings and good luck.

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to Cat
from Tofu_pizza:)

What do about insecurities? (•_•) ( ﾉ ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ ＼(ﾟｰﾟ＼)

Hello Tofu_pizza:). Well, everybody has insecurities. Even Cat. Cat tells you this so maybe you will begin to think of insecurities as less of a personal problem or a personality trait and more like a situation. Situations are temporary. Situations are a state of mind. They occur due to circumstances, or how your mind is framing reality in any given moment. Also, since everybody has insecurities, there is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment about them.

So what to do about them? Maybe treat them like a sneeze. They happen, but they don’t define you. You can sneeze once, say excuse me, and move on.

Can also try shifting focus. Maybe you were clumsy last week when you tried to jump up on the bathroom counter. Maybe you felt foolish and insecure. So what? If you think back, you may be able to remember a day two weeks ago when you were extremely agile while catapulting off of the back of the couch. Sometimes, the things we are insecure about are actually the things that make us endearing and lovable to others. You never know. (Says someone who definitely did not try to jump up on the bathroom counter and failed bigtime but still loves themselves exactly as they are.)

As always, Cat thanks you for reading, and for sticking around during prolonged absences. Have question for Cat? Make comment here with question and Cat will give your question very many contemplations and Cat’s very best try.

If readers would like to leave Cat crunchies in comments, Cat would not be opposed, but that is up to you.

Thank you for playing, Cat 🐾